If you asked me 20 years ago if I grew up in a Christian home, I would have probably said I did. While we weren’t members of any one church, it seemed we went to church a lot. As a young child, I remember Sunday School and worship services at the United Methodist Church in our little town of 750 people. Participating in the service was always an honor, walking up the center isle to light the candles at the altar. We had all the pot luck events and summer vacation bible schools like any other church, but my family had no real commitment beyond that. Sometimes I attended a Baptist church in a neighboring town with some friends who would pick me up on their way. Here the gospel was always presented clearly and around the age of 12, I made a profession of faith at vacation Bible school. This church provided a place for spiritual growth, but my attendance was too infrequent for it to make a lasting impact that would secure my walk with God through my early adult years.
Christianity Isn’t a List of Rules
The lack of commitment to any one church was due to my mom’s search for one that was perfect. The signature attributes of this church would be their generosity to people in need—because we were in need—and a lack of sin among its leaders or attendees. As you might have guessed, we spent a number of years in a number of churches. Significant time was spent in the Roman Catholic Church, a few charismatic congregations, and all of my high school years were with the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Obviously, that perfect church was never found, though perhaps a pleasant and unintended consequence of her quest was my yearning to better know who God says he is.
A relationship with God played second or maybe even third chair to the legalism that defined the Christianity of our home. It was impressed upon me that to be a Christian, certain activities were prohibited: smoking, swearing, drunkenness, wearing provocative clothing and pre-marital sex were just a few. It’s not as if I viewed this as a list of virtuous behaviors, compliance was no problem. But these rules served as the strings attached to the promise of salvation. If I did participate in any of these behaviors, I probably was not a Christian or would probably lose my salvation if, by chance, I was one. I certainly don’t disagree that these are areas Christians should strive to avoid. But ours was not a positive Christianity that basked in knowing the blessing of salvation by grace through faith. The rules-based approach was not in response to God’s mercy, pursing the holiness of God as an act of worship. Ours was more of a negative Christianity, dare I say pharisaical, intended to give a perception of holiness in order to appear to others as the best of the best. This way life wasn’t just concerned with what the neighbors would think, it had everything to do with giving God reasons to accept us into his fold. Avoiding these behaviors was portrayed as our ticket to eternity.
Over the years, as I’ve come to understand what scripture teaches about salvation and what it means to honor God in the way we live, I look back at the Christianity of my childhood not with frustration or anger, but with a bit of sadness. The responsibility my mom had thrust upon her was not with the tools necessary for raising up children in the faith. A disciple needs to have been discipled—something I’m quite confident she never experienced. However, I believe she has also learned a great deal over the years and truly desires to know God beyond the self-imposed regulations thought required to attain salvation.
If you ask me today if I was brought up in a Christian home, I would say that while my upbringing may have been in the context of many churches and even some cults, there was very little about my experience that was truly biblical. Putting on the new self means I can put away the legalism of the past and clothe myself in obedience to Christ as an act of worship.
You may share this experience to some degree, continuing to struggle with the challenge of legalism. Following rules can serve as something of a security blanket—though ultimately only providing false security as we tend to forget our works without a heart inclined to God are like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). Our relationship with God is not about following a list of rules to attain salvation; this would render grace meaningless. Legalism is not Christ-centered. Legalism is always self-centered because the focus is not just about getting everything right, but believing in our capacity that we can get everything right. Trusting God for our salvation means that we know we are sinners and we need Jesus’ righteousness to compensate for the lack of our own.
The role of the church is not to enforce a list of unreachable goals that demand perfection from Christ followers. We aren’t to teach that if one stumbles in their spiritual journey they will lose the redemption secured for them through Christ. Ours is not to work for our salvation, an endeavor that causes us to ultimately reject the gift that it is. As the cliché goes, Christianity is not a list of rules, it’s a relationship with Jesus, one that begins with God’s call upon our lives to repent of sin and profess Jesus as Lord.
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So similar to my life. Thanks. Looking forward to reading more here.